Morton called. He wanted to talk to a marriage counselor about issues in his marriage. Asked if his wife would join us, he said “No. I need this for myself.” We set up a time after his workday.

We met one late afternoon. He made time to wash up and change clothes. So, what brings you here, sir? An unassuming man of approximately 35 years of age cast an emotional eye on me.

“This wasn’t easy. I’ve been looking to call for months now. I was raised to fix my own problems. My mother and father took care of their own problems. I’ve got something going on at home. I’ve been searching the internet for answers. I’ve come up short. I decided to contact my PCP to ask her. She’s a down-to-earth doctor. So, I made an appointment and went in to see her. They took my vitals and said I had some concern for high blood pressure. I’ve lost eight pounds in a couple of months. I work, go home, eat small portions, talk with my girl, and watch television. I toss and turn and wake up tired. My job requires focus and attention. Recently, I had a near accident. They sent me home. I’ve been a good employee for 12 years. No troubles or accidents. I’m a good worker. My boss says he is worried about me. He told me to take two days off. They’d pay me. I figured seeing my PCP was the best advice. Doc knows me well. She sat next to me, took my hands that were shaking, and quietly said that I needed to look at my pride. Whatever was going on, she would treat me with medicine. She knows my resistance to taking any prescription medicine. She gave me a list of therapists. She suggested that I pick one and share my feelings. We made another appointment in one month. I promised her I’d find someone on the list, then see her. Maybe my BP would go down without medicine. Deal! So here I am. Being here isn’t easy.”

I applaud you, Morton, for your honesty. Lots of people, numbers beyond my imagination, want to talk and tell their story. I say this to all my clients. It took you, perhaps for everyone, an act of courage to come here. What you share is held in confidence, unless you or any client speaks of a specific plan to harm yourself or someone else, commit a crime, or abuse someone. You can speak about anything. I also applaud your PCP for her interest in your overall health and wellbeing. With your consent, I’ll share information with her in partnership. I’ll suspend sharing details…that’s your business. If I discern reason to be concerned for your medical health, that’s what I will share only with your approval. Now, you are here. What can you ask me to help you look at? What has impacted your life such as a blood pressure issue?

“This is all new for me. No one in my family ever went to a therapist. Maybe someone talked to a priest or minister at a church. Some problems I guess clergy can handle. My own family, my wife and daughter, well, we’ve lived a regular life, I’d say. We go to work, pay our bills, have some fun together, and play outside with our dog. The greatest problem we’ve ever had was when we had to buy our own home. Figuring out the money, well, our real estate agent, a friend, helped guide us through the process. It was a bit nerve racking, but we finally made it. We’d been renting. Then we had our little girl, Abigail. We got an offer for a rescue dog. We couldn’t do it because the Landlord forbid dogs. We saw Abbie’s face (that’s what we call her). She fell in love when she held the dog, and he licked her face. My wife, Eva, said she never wanted to see Abbie cry so bitterly when we turned down the offer. So, we decided to find our own home, so a dog could bring a smile to Abbie’s face. It took 2-3 years, and we found the home we now live in. We have some land and outdoor toys for Abbie and her friends. Once we got settled in, we went to the SPCA. They showed us dogs and pictures of rescue dogs they couldn’t house. It didn’t take long to pick out Monte, our Australian Shepherd. He brings lots of love and fun to our home. He sleeps with Abbie. They are almost inseparable. Anyways, I’m going on and on here. Is that what folks do, Sir?”

Some; other folks aren’t as vocal as you are today when first experiencing therapy. What you’ve been doing today, Morton, is like telling a story. You tell what you want in your own way. My job is to listen without judgement or criticism. Some folks talk on and on. Others are quiet and say little in the beginning. There’s no right or wrong. Can I ask you, Morton, to add to your story of what you’ve already shared? What was your experience of seeing a therapist? What gave you a reason to not just call on a clergy person or even your doctor? I wonder if you had a realization of requiring something more.

“That’s funny, ‘something more.’ That’s what Doc said to me. You must read the same script (he laughs a bit.) Let me say what I need to open up to, ok? Two years ago, my wife’s mom passed on. We were called by her dad to come soon. She got ill suddenly and was in a hospital in a bad condition. We drove six hours to the hospital. We got there minutes before her mom passed. We were heartbroken. We all loved her mom. We attended the funeral and spent a week with her dad. We came home. Months later, my wife kind of stopped living. She’s different. She and I always talked about all subjects. Now, she sits and does the bare minimum compared to what she would accomplish for herself and our family. She won’t talk. She won’t talk to anyone, her PCP, her minister, or even her sister. She rarely enjoys life. Even our dog is sad around her. I’m afraid for her. What can I do for her? Abbie gets some attention but not like before.”

Here’s a tough question. Has your wife grieved her mom’s passing?

“I don’t know. I’m not sure.” Come again, Morton. I think you’ve more to share. “I do.”

Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.