A while back on a Sunday night, I was channel surfing on the Direct TV Guide and saw that the movie with the title matching this narrative was coming on shortly, and though I’d seen it many times previously, there was not much else on that piqued my interest, so, Sally and I watched the Turner Classic Network airing of this 1967 film starring Academy Award Winners, Sidney Poitier, Katherine Hepburn (including this film), and Spencer Tracy.

It was the story of a Black doctor, a widower, who met a younger white woman in Hawaii and in a whirlwind, they’d fallen in love with each other. The time setting of this film, and the year it was released too, was the 1960s, when racial tension was high in this country, and the movie fell into the film genre of being a romantic comedy/drama. That was an accurate designation, but there were many more underlying emotions and life lessons that could have been taken from the movie as well.

Back in 1979, I met the love of my life. It was at the discotheque, 2001, located on Fairmount Avenue in West Ellicott. I could try and be a macho guy and say that I made the first move toward meeting her, but it was in fact, she who initiated conversation first. After our initial meeting, she invited me to dinner, and when I showed up, she served a fantastic Prime Rib Feast, on a beautifully adorned table. It wasn’t hard to be impressed, or begin to like her, even though we didn’t know a whole lot about each other.

In the weeks that followed, we “phone” dated, we got together on weekends either in Sherman or Jamestown, we went out for drinks and dinner, and one night after a few drinks at a Jamestown establishment, we found ourselves wanting something to eat, so we stopped at the then Sambo’s Restaurant (open 24 hours) located in Brooklyn Square, in Jamestown. We had a bite to eat, drank some coffee, talked some, drank more coffee, laughed some, drank even more coffee, laughed a whole lot more, and before we realized it, the sun was beginning to come up. To this day, neither one of us can remember what we were laughing about, but we do remember it was just a night of silliness and fun.

We dated for the next five-plus months before returning to the place we met, where I asked the D.J. to play the first song we danced to, and with a ring in my pocket, I asked Sally to spend the rest of her life with me. (BTW, she said yes.) We got married six months later.

Those first few months, I dare say, even years, were tough. Among many things, I had to learn to be an instant parent, money was very tight (Sally was working three jobs at once, while I was a third-year teacher making just over $10,000). I also had to get used to sharing a house with others (I was not the neatest person in the world back then), and Sally and the girls had to get used to holiday gatherings at my family’s, where there were often three rooms of people, most of them talking all at once, and everyone in all three rooms being a part of each conversation.

Was it easy, not always? Was it a blissful marriage, again, not always, but we knew what we felt for each other and did what we had to do to stay true to, and to honor, our vows.

Fast forward 44 plus years since we became husband and wife, and we, especially more lately, have found ourselves mentally back in that booth at Sambos on that Friday or Saturday night back in 1979. We’ve often been silly, giddy, laughing a lot, and enjoying each other’s company very much. We’ve often joined special friends for dinner and drinks, where laughter is a must and a given, and is always on the menu. We’ve traveled to ballgames (literally in all kinds of weather), we’ve made trips to see kids and grandkids, we’ve attended many concerts and theater productions. We’ve spent quiet times together, soaking up the sun, watching the waves, occasionally being surprised by the sight of a soaring eagle or two, and appreciating the relaxing sounds of water meeting shore at Barcelona beach in Westfield.

So, what does all of this have to do with Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?

Toward the end of the story about John and Joanna’s whirlwind meeting and subsequent decision to marry, even though they’d only recently met, Spencer Tracy’s character expressed his feelings about the situation at hand, not just regarding their getting married after such a short time, but the fact that his daughter was involved with a black man, and he had just heard about it that same day.

After much thought, he finally gathered everyone present to have dinner together in one room, and expressed these thoughts, (much different ones that he’d thought earlier in the day) “…and Mrs. Prentice says that like her husband I’m a burned-out old shell of a man who cannot even remember what it’s like to love a woman the way her son loves my daughter. And strange as it seems, that’s the first statement made to me all day with which I am prepared to take issue… ’cause I think you’re wrong, you’re as wrong as you can be. I admit that I hadn’t considered it, hadn’t even thought about it, but I know exactly how he feels about her and there is nothing, absolutely nothing that your son feels for my daughter that I didn’t feel for Christina. Old- yes. Burned-out- certainly, but I can tell you the memories are still there- clear, intact, indestructible, and they’ll be there if I live to be 110…

…in the final analysis it doesn’t matter a damn what we think. The only thing that matters is what they feel, and how much they feel, for each other. And if it’s half of what we felt- that’s everything.”

Sally and I don’t have the “perfect” marriage, though at times it’s pretty close, but what Matt Drayton said in those few moments of the film, is what this almost “burned-out old shell of a man” has learned from time spent with my bride, and I say to my children, my grandchildren, and anyone’s children or grandchildren, if you and your chosen one feel half of what Sally and I feel for each other, that’s everything. We too have memories (making more every year) that are still there, intact, and will be there if/when we live to be 110.