Imagine trying to focus on two plus two while you are mentally counting the number of bars on your father's jail cell. Imagine trying to learn to tell time when the only time you care about is when the next visiting day with your mother will be.

Can you imagine paying any attention in class when you've missed breakfast, again, by the way, because your single parent is too lonely and upset to get you off to school on time?

Many of the students I work with as a therapist for the Family Service of the Chautauqua Region's Partners for Children program in the Jamestown elementary schools carry enormous personal losses and struggles to school with them each day. While a few suffer the loss of a parent through death, many suffer the loss of a parent through estrangement.

According to a comprehensive study of the Partners for Children program completed in 2002, 50 percent of our student clients that year were experiencing divorce issues and more than 30 percent were from single parent families. In 2007, my caseload of 21 students in the Jamestown Public Schools reflected an increase in these areas with more than 50 percent of my clients coming from divorced parents, more than 50 percent coming from single parent families, more than 50 percent having an incarcerated family member, and one client suffering loss of a parent through death.

Partners for Children therapists provided services to 125 students in eight school districts last year. Of these students, more than 50 percent were from divorced parents, more than 50 percent were from single parent homes and 18 percent had an incarcerated family member. These are difficult struggles to overcome, to say the least.

The Vera Institute of Justice notes that grief in children and adolescents sometimes manifests itself in anger, depression or aggression. Students having behavioral and attendance issues may be reacting to a personal loss.

It is important that the Partners for Children therapist works closely with teachers to identify children suffering from the loss of a loved one and to develop ways to help them cope with such losses. One way to help students cope with loss is to help them identify the supportive adults in their lives.

In her article, "Ten Ways to Foster Resiliency in Children," Leah Davies, M. Ed. states, "When children are influenced by caring adults with high expectations for their success, they are more likely to withstand negative pressure and become responsible adults."

A 1989 study by Werner and Smith concludes that "the presence of at least one caring person - someone who conveys an attitude of compassion, who understands that no matter how awful a child's behavior, the child is doing the best he or she can given his or her experience - provides support for healthy development and learning. "

As professionals who have influence over the daily lives of children, let's do our personal best to foster resiliency in them. How? Leah Davies offers the following: respect and demonstrate kindness toward all students. Promote a sense of belonging and ownership in the school. Recognize and believe in each child's worth. Accentuate cooperation rather than competition. Teach social interaction skills. Teach problem solving skills. Foster leadership skills and goodwill. Help children discover their strengths and talents. Model tenacity, emotional maturity and a healthy attitude. Involve parents to foster a bonding, nurturing parent-child relationship.

My favorite neighbor, Mr. Rogers, once said, "Children need to know that the adults in their lives will do everything they can do to keep them safe. It doesn't mean we're always going to be successful, but it does mean we're going to try."

Suggested reading on the topic of resiliency in children includes: "Raising Resilient Children: Fostering Strength, Hope and Optimism in Your Child," by Robert Brooks, Ph.D. and Sam Goldstein, Ph.D., and "Help Yourself: Finding Hope, Courage and Happiness," by Dave Pelzer (author of "A Child Called 'I'").

Jane Chambers, M.S. Ed is a mental health therapist for Family Service of the Chautauqua Region serving in the schools. For more information about Family Service and its programs, call 488-1971.