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April 25, 2013 - Liz Skoczylas
One of my all-time favorite blogs from The Post-Journal comes from none other than our editor, The Whitless Wonder, John Whittaker.
Shortly after Nick and I got engaged, I emailed him a bunch of John's blogs leading up to his own wedding, because I thought they were hysterical. Now, I know how true they are...
Here is a portion of my favorite blog from John:
Now, in the interest of future grooms everywhere, the Whitless Wonder will pass on some of the things he's learned from the last 16 months. Lesson 1, you ask? Listen to all the stories your married friends tell you about the time leading up to the wedding. They're all true. Every single one of them. For example, I thought (former P-J employee, Jason) Bussman was pulling my leg when he told me there were a couple of times he and his wife weren't really fond of each other in the weeks leading up to their wedding - and his wife never really morphed into Bridezilla, the fire-breathing, soul-crushing monster that has made more than one groom-to-be reconsider both marriage and their interest in women. I remember telling him, in no uncertain terms, that would never happen to the News Gal and I. We think too much alike. We both want the same things. I'll just say she's right at all times if it ever starts looking dicey. Bussman was right. We held in well, right up to the last two days, before we needed a break. It's just the stress of pulling together all the loose strings a wedding brings. It's inevitable. After two days of killing ourselves at the reception hall, my best man and groomsmen took me out to The Pub for lunch before the wedding. The News Gal calls and, thinking she's talking to my best man, sounds all bubbly. When I tell her, "Baby, it's me," she just says, "I don't like you very much right now." Ouch. Here's another bit of knowledge for you, though. It passes, and when you see your wife walking down the aisle in that white dress, all the madness of the preceding 48 hours melts away. I have to think really hard to remember what the heck the News Gal and I were annoyed at before the wedding, but the vision of her walking down the aisle at New Heights United Methodist Church will never fade. Open up your knowledge basket, because the Whitless Wonder's going to let you in on a couple other secrets, before the News Gal cracks the whip.
1. There is never enough time before the wedding to avoid being rushed in the last two weeks. The News Gal and I spent 16 months planning the wedding, and the four days before the wedding were four of the longest days we've ever had. Up by 8 (on a good day) and in bed at between 2 and 3 a.m. The loose ends are ridiculous - table numbers to be finished, favor boxes and tags to be put together, place cards, table numbers and wedding programs to be finished, family to visit with, travel arrangements to get lined up, a hall and church to decorate, and, for the lucky couple handling their table settings, plates, cups, silverware, pop and all the other reception goodies to buy and set up. Guess what? It can't be done ahead of time. Have you heard about that wedding thing where the groom can't see the bride the day before the wedding. It isn't because seeing the bride is bad luck. It's because, after a week of being the one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest, if the two don't spend some time apart, they'll choke each other on the wedding cake. It's a delicious way to go, but, you know…
(For the rest of this hilarious entry, go to http://www.post-journal.com/page/blogs.detail/display/540/Surviving-A-Wild-Wedding-Weekend.html)
John and "News Gal" made it a little further in their wedding process without trying to kill one another than Nick and I. This past Monday, I coped with wedding stress by not speaking to Nick. I had sent him a copy of the mock-up of our program, and he responded with telling me there was a fire in the county. And, I mean, OBVIOUSLY that means he doesn't want to marry me anymore. (Ok, in hindsight, maybe it didn't. But at the time, I read his message as "There's a big fire in Pomfret right now. FORGET THE PROGRAMS I DON'T WANT TO MARRY YOU ANYMORE!" Oops.)
I wouldn't say the wedding stress is getting to me so much as I'm just over it. I'm ready for the big day to be here. I'm tired of listening to people's shenanigans.
One of the most frustrating things to me is how many of our guests actually have the nerve to complain about things. (http://www.post-journal.com/page/blogs.detail/display/1143/How-To-Increase-A-Bride-s-Stress-Level.html) One of the biggest complaints we have heard is that some people were not allowed to bring a date to our wedding. It's not that we singled out single friends and relatives. It's that we are on a budget. Nick and I have A LOT of friends that we would have liked to invite, but due to budget restraints, it just wasn't a possibility. And, call me rude, but I don't want to forever be looking at pictures from our wedding with someone's flavor-of-the-week, "what-her/his-name" for the rest of my life. We wanted to be surrounded by close friends and family on the day of our wedding, not strangers.
The other big complaint we have been hearing is about how we are having an adult-only reception. We actually have people who are refusing to come to our wedding because they are insulted we would dare to exclude their children.
Here's the thing. Kids can come to the ceremony. We don't have an issue with that. (Well, I mean, within reason. It's a Catholic ceremony. If kids can't sit through that, they probably shouldn't come.) We left enough time between the ceremony and reception so that parents would be able to get kids home, situated with a babysitter, and come out to party.
Hearing things like this have been making Nick and I really upset. We have invited people we thought were closest to us to be guests at our special day, and we have been told how awful we are because of it. It's just very disappointing.
On the other hand, though, we have people who are making us so excited they will be at our wedding. I, for one, am excited to see friends from college I haven't seen for a while, in some cases, in a few years. I have been getting message from them about how excited they are to visit and celebrate. Then, we have local friends and coworkers who are already in party mode. They have their hotel rooms booked, they have babysitters set up for their kids and they are ready to help us celebrate our unity. For these last 16 days until we say our "I dos" those are the people we should be surrounding ourselves with.
And, in the next 16 days, I will do my best to not take my frustrations and crazy-wedding-conclusions out on Nick. The RSVPs are due this weekend. We will be focusing on all of the little details, as John so sweetly pointed out in his 2009 blog. So, here's to hoping we don't try to choke each other on the cake in 16 days!
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