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Living and Learning

February 4, 2013 - Liz Skoczylas
Our apartment has a ghost.

I learned this Friday, after confronting N on his penchant for leaving his dirty socks on the floor, less than three feet away from the laundry basket.

After picking the socks up and placing them in the laundry basket for about a week, I decided to see what would happen if I left them in place. By the next morning, there were two pairs of socks in the same spot, still less than three feet from the laundry basket.

When I mentioned the sock phenomenon to N, he told me that our apartment must have a ghost who is moving the socks.

"It's either that, or Ramsay is taking them out of the laundry basket," N said, referring to the dog.

Alas, we have a ghost. However, the ghost must have overheard the conversation, because it hasn't moved the socks since Friday. They have miraculously found their way into the laundry basket and stayed there.

In a recent article by national columnist Lori Borgman, (which my mom cut out and gave to me), Borgman wrote, "Marrying someone is not the same as living with someone. Living together is test driving the car.

"Marriage is having the guts to buy the car knowing it is still yours even after the five-year/50,000 mile warranty has expired."

(Full article can be found:

When N and I moved in together two weeks ago, I knew that there would be some things to get used to. I braced myself for compromise. But, I also knew that he washes dishes and folds and puts away laundry. He keeps my plants alive when I would otherwise kill them. And, he gives the dog water when the bowl is empty. (Don't go calling PETA on me. I water my dog, he just drinks a lot when we're not home. Most days, N is home from work before me. It's the plants you should worry about!) In short, I knew that there was a ton I love about him.

Friends warned me that moving in together would be different, though. One friend told me that her husband used to never shut cabinet doors in the kitchen, just take something out and leave them open. Other friends have expressed other small things that their significant other did, which drove them crazy. However, they all said the same thing: After a while, you get used to it. You still love them. Maybe they'll eventually learn to shut the cabinet doors, put the toilet seat down, pick up their dirty socks, etc. Then again, they might throw their dirty socks at the entertainment center in the living room, just to spite you. But, you still love them. And, despite any crazy habits of your own, they still love you.

In three months and seven days, N will become my husband. We've been told that the first year is the hardest, but, once you weather that, it's generally smooth sailing. All of the habits we each have that drive each other a little nuts will come out. But, as we grow old together in marriage, we will also grow together as people.

And that is something I cannot wait for. As long as we get rid of the sock ghost.


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