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Good God ... That's The Whitless Wonder's Music

February 1, 2013 - John Whittaker
Good God … it can't be … but it is … that's the Whitless Wonder's music. What's he doing here? Just once, I want the Jim Ross entrance. Just once. Is that too much to ask? That's right - this is my blog, so the old Monday Night Raw Jim Ross entrance it is. Yes, your old pal the Whitless Wonder is back in the building. The blog is once again active and, hopefully, fairly entertaining. It's been a busy year in Whitless Wonder land, far too busy to be writing blogs. Now that things are settling down some, I've got a few things to say. First off, football games will forever be won in the trenches. A good offensive line and a good defensive line will always beat a spread, no-huddle offense. A team that can run the ball, throw play-action passes and has a defense that beats the holy snot out of its opponents wins games. Want to know how I know that? I watched Bill Belichick win three Super Bowls with that strategy. He won two more as an assistant coach on teams playing that style. So why, Coach Genius, do you insist on running the old Houston Oilers' run-and-lose offense? Why do you insist on playing a defensive style that generates no pass rush? Why do you draft cornerbacks who couldn't cover a post-Thanksgiving turkey comatose News Cat? I would say watching the AFC Championship game was tough in the Whitless Wonder's house, but the News Wife and I knew beforehand that the Pats would lose, because they play the wrong style. My annoyance with the Patriots pales in comparison with Alex Rodriguez. As if watching him hit with a block of Swiss cheese this postseason wasn't bad enough, then we find out Rodriguez' hip was hurt again. Then, he for some reason ends up putting off surgery until mid-January, pushing his return into sometime in August. Why am I annoyed the Yankees won't have Rodriguez back until August if he has lost any ability to get a timely hit, you may ask? Because his replacement is Kevin Youkilis, the ex-Boston Red Sox third baseman and possibly the most annoying player the Red Sox have had. While Alex was at it, why didn't he shave the News Cat, hit on the News Wife and punch me in the face? It would have had about the same effect. I'd have rather seen the Yankees play with eight players this year than have to root for Youkilis. I know the Yankees weren't looking for a fat, out-of-shape hothead who can't hit, because my phone never rang. The first time Youkilis fails to get a run home from third base with one out because he takes a called third strike, remember this blog. It happens at least four times a week. And, the guy has the defensive range of the statues in Monument Park. Yeah, I’m loving the Kevin Youkilis Era. Rodriguez has killed the 2013 baseball season before it even started. I'm not happy. On a positive note, against all odds, the Syracuse Orange continue winning games. I have no idea how it happens. Michael Carter-Williams, for all his gaudy statistics, tends to not make layups and turns the ball over at inopportune times. Trevor Cooney, the designated shooter off the bench, makes about as many jump shots as I do. As for Dajuan Coleman and Rakeem Christmas, the Orange big men, well, let's just say they're offensively challenged. And, by the way, the team is missing its best outside shooter and leading scorer because the dummy, in the one year he's actually playing, can't stay academically eligible. Through it all, Syracuse just keeps plugging its way through a typically tough Big East schedule. Can the Orange play all summer? I might need that. I can't bear to watch Kevin Youkilis wearing pinstripes.


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